[Exit Orpheum.]

I am a creepy heavy-breathing phone stalker. What are you wearing?: Black and grey vertically striped button-up shirt, brown (someone into fashion might call it "chocolate") pants, holey black Chuck Taylors.
Where do you live (with parents, dorm, etc.)?: Alas, I still live with the 'rentals. I'm strongly considering taking out student loans just to be able to live in the dorms or campus apartments, however, so that I may escape them.
Were you named after anything/anyone in particular?: My first name (Eric) was chosen because my dad likes Norse names. (At least he didn't pick Thor!). My middle name (Lawrence) comes from my Great-uncle Lawrence O'Toole, a semi-famous painter who drank and smoke himself to death. (Wonderful namesake, huh?)
Do your initials spell anything amusing?: Unless "elj" is an amusing word I'm unfamiliar with, no.
Does your phone number spell anything amusing?: Well, there's "nay-55-OK," which I suppose could be a highly simplified ballot for voting on Proposition 55. *shrugs*
Drug of choice ("life" included): Skittles.
What actually interests you (issues, subjects - not "um, Avril Lavigne?"): Issues: The morality of human cloning and other genetic stem-cell research, the looming portent of an Orwellian future, the gradual decadence and degradation of American civilisation; Subjects: Literature, linguistics, etymology, vocabulary, mythology, mysticism, alchemy, mediaeval life and beliefs, and just about any other form of erudition.

Ideal pet: Betta splendens (perhaps "betta" known [I crack myself up!] as the Siamese fighting fish).
Studliest celebrity: I am secure enough in my masculinity to admit that I find Tom Welling and Colin Farrell quite "studly." (I refer only to male celebrities, as the word studly, so far as I know, is not generally used to describe females.)
Most annoying celebrity: Scott Thompson (referred to by his moniker "Carrot Top"). *shudder*
Lamest favorite musician/band you ever had: Well, let's see... Alanis Morissette, Hanson, Westside Connection. Take your pick.
Favorite childhood game: Handball, hands down.
Favorite corporate mascot (i.e. Vlasic Pickle stork, Ronald McDonald): Jack, from Jack In The Box.
Favorite talk-show host: Graham Norton, from So Graham Norton.
Favorite comic strip: Foxtrot, Rudy Park, Calvin & Hobbes.
Favorite kind of ice cream: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Ben & Jerry's Phish Food, Rainbow Sherbet, French Silk, Peppermint... just about anything that can be loosely classified as ice cream, actually.
Favorite kind of soup: Minestrone, Clam Chowder.
Favorite '80s/'90s fad: Pogs.
Favorite movie refreshment: Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Zours.
Favorite Disneyland/fair ride: Disneyland: Pirates of the Caribbean; Fair: The Zipper.
Kinkiest fantasy: To be perfectly honest, nothing particularly "kinky" comes to mind.
Guilty pleasures: Irish Cream coffee creamers, Spongebob Squarepants.
Pet peeves: Poor spelling, grammar, punctuation, and syntax; generally, ignorance of any kind, sports fans.
Best "truth": Really, I've never much been into Truth or Dare.
Best "dare": See above.

Most psycho boyfriend/girlfriend you ever had (describe): Not applicable.
Most psycho customer/work experience: Once a woman had a coronary because I might have accidentally touched her food without having washed my hands after handling money, and all but made a formal complaint to my manager.
Most physically painful experience: Watching an entire episode of The Anna Nicole Show without retching. Seriously? Probably stepping on a rusty nail.
Most retarded thing you've ever done in public: Recently I ran into a stone pillar while riding my bike because I was attempting to check my pocket watch.
Weird phases you've gone through in life: Well, there's my "White boy rapper phase" from a few years ago, when I was into Westside Connection, Coolio, and the Wu-Tang Clan.
Interesting song/movie/etc. you lost your virginity to (if applicable): Not applicable.
Boy band song you secretly enjoy (don't lie): I'm not ashamed to admit that I rather like most boy band music. I especially enjoy: from *NSYNC, "Gone"; from the Backstreet Boys, "Rock Your Body."
Best Halloween costume you ever had: I was once a mummy—basically, I just wrapped myself in a bunch of gauze and staggered about moaning eerily (mostly because it was so bloody hot under all that stuff).
Weirdest lie you've ever told: No particularly strange lies come to mind.
Worst rumor ever told about you (that you found out about): Although I don't consider this a "bad" thing by any means, and it really isn't a "rumour," per se, apparently people have mistaken me for being gay. (I can't imagine why—isn't it normal for guys to be sensitive, great listeners, fond of the arts and showtunes, willing to watch The Vagina Monologues, and able to find other males handsome?)
Best way to avenge an evil ex boyfriend/girlfriend: I've always lived by the maxim, "Living well is the best revenge."
If your life were made into a movie, who would play you?: Vin Diesel. No, honestly, I haven't the slightest idea—I can't say I've ever thought about the matter. I suppose Dominic Monaghan (Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck from Lord of the Rings) could, if he wore a dark brown hobbit wig. Even that's a stretch, though.
Do you like pickles?: Not a bit. Sorry, Mr. Vlasic Pickle Stork!
Can you still do the Macarena?: If I ever really could to begin with, yes.
Honestly now. Do you have sex dreams?: None in which I actually have sex, at least none I remember; I do have intimate dreams occasionally.